Words to Live By
Since 1993  A SPIFF Publication Vol. 4, No. 13                             
And a Happy New Year                                                       


Yet Another Visit from St. Slick                                           
Talk about Overstaying Your Welcome!                                       

'Twas polite after Christmas, 'cause all through D.C.                      
all the Democrats there learned to say, "Pardon me."                       
The jury was hung in the Paula Jones trial                                 
(Bill smiled and said, "Looks like we're here for a while.")               
He needed to find a new cause to go slow                                   
'cause the legal defense fund was woefully low.                            
His previous tactics were shameful. Good grief!                            
St. Slick? Active duty Commander-in-chief?                                 
Pres'dent Clinton? She had problems all of her own                         
from the Madison Scandalous Savings and Loan.                              
How her billing sheets ended up there more than twice                      
she didn't remember--under lawyers' advice.                                
"But it's prob'ly the fault of Craig Livingstone, Bouncer!"                
she said with a smirk. Did the networks denounce her                       
for passing the buck on to somebody lesser?                                
If you answered, "Heck no!" then you're quite a good guesser.              
Now the rats are abandoning Bill's ship of state                           
to cover their...pensions before it's too late.                            
With Hill in seclusion and Bill on the lam,                                
the rest of the cabinet just doesn't care.                                 
"We're gone!" cheered Cisneros and Pena and Morris                         
"Panetta's out, too, like McCurry before us."                              
Bill smiled as he said, "Hey, this isn't so dreary.                        
At least I don't have to defend Miss O'Leary."                             
Boy George is gone, too. That burden's now off of us.                      
We never were able to rhyme Stephanopoulos.                                
Sincerity never has run quite this deep:                                   
Bill has "kept all the promised he meant to keep."                         
If you read this and just can't believe your own eyes                      
you should know that it follows a hist'ry of lies                          
from the end of all welfare reform as we know it                           
to a half billion cops (but the numbers don't show it).                    
A middle-class tax cut was the start of the fibs                           
that were left unreported by medialibs.                                    
"I'm better than them," smiled Bill with great piety.                      
"No more the appearance of ol' impropriety!"                               
"These FBI files? Why, there's nothing there dirty.                        
Besides, we've got only three hundred and thirty (er, five hundred and     
   twenty. How about seven hundred and eighty? Would you believe nine
   hundred?)
I'll make all abortion safe, legal, and rare."                             
but other than legal, he just didn't care.                                 
With veto pen firmly clutched tight in his hand                            
he wouldn't let live-birth abortions be banned.                            
He lied to that girl, "Don't be sad and forlorn.                           
The baby is still only partially born."                                    
"Just one year 'til freedom," we said last December                        
but it didn't work out on the fifth of November.                           
Thanks to illegal money from someone at Lippo                              
and dollars from people whose income is zippo                              
and the big bucks from unions and flag-burning jerks                       
and NEA teachers who live for their perks                                  
and those huge contributions by Owl's Friends of Zen                       
we have to start counting all over again.                                  
Sure, we all want revenge: to get rid of this curse,                       
but don't scream for impeachment, 'cause it still could be worse.          
You can still hear him laugh, as he smirks one time more:                  
"If you get rid of me, you get President Gore!"                            



Words to Live By                                                           
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