Words to Live By Since 1993 A SPIFF Publication Vol. 4, No. 12 Pardon? Can't Jake a Toke? What's all this silliness about President Clinton and Bill not being a great leader? The best lead by example, and President Clinton (through Bill most of the time) obviously sets examples for government agencies. The post office, to whom we give thanks for the increased popularity of the word "disgruntled," is a great example. On a recent journey to pick up our "Leader Dole for First Dog" t-shirts at the Green Hills post office, one of your Spiff publishers stopped to look at the fancy stamp-dispensing machines. (Insert your tax dollars here.) You know, the kind that has the red-lettered, computerized message board on the top? The board can display such inspirational themes as "Buy a stamp today" or "Stop privatization." But we digress. Back on the subject of leadership and President Clinton. (By the way, how do postal workers get gruntled in the first place? Sorry.) Anyway, your friends at the post office, the speed trap of the information superhighway, felt the need to display in bright, red letters the message "HIGH EVERYONE." We would hope, if not expect, that the post office would be nonpartisan in the upcoming election, but the blatant display of a major Clinton campaign theme is really surprising. "High Everyone" is, after all, the Clintons administration's drug policy. Either that or the sign was programmed by someone who graduated from public school. And on the same day, we saw another shining (literally) example of government brilliance: There's a building in downtown Nashville that lights up the night sky with short promotional messages_ Welcome to Summer Lights, Italian Street Fair, Go Vandy, that type of thing. The building used to be privately owned (as a building should be) by American General insurance until it went bad (obviously thanks to smoking). Now it has been engulfed by the state government where it serves as the office of some 465,000 of Nashville's 740 million state employees. Where were we? Oh, yes. The message up in lights that night was "CK BENFIT SALE." Who is CK? Calvin Klein? Why does he need a benfit sale? What is a benfit? Benfit for what? Literacy? Sure, we make spelling mistakes in WTLB, too, but very few of them are five stories tall in downtown Nashville. You've Got to Be Kidding! Sometimes the silliest and most unbelievable articles are given to us. This one came as a press release from the Clintons administration, proclaiming last week as_ well, you can read it yourself. One of our most important goals as a nation is to make this a better world for all people. Millions around the globe look to America as a champion of justice, and we must always strive to encourage the good and denounce the bad. Ok. We denounce thee. Now give us a tough one. This week, as a nation, we celebrate the fact that "Character Counts." Did Dick (Who?) Morris come up with this one before or after he left? During this special week, we recognize that character is not a quality we are born with; we must learn it. This means we must ensure that it is taught, clearly and thoughtfully, to our youth. Individual character involves honoring and embracing certain core ethical values: honesty, "I didn't inhale." respect, opposing an amendment to protect the flag, responsibility, blaming Janet Reno for Waco, hard work, vetoing welfare reform (twice), ...and citizenship which is why we discourage citizenship by giving money to illegal aliens. Americans must do everything possible to create a society in which these virtues are not only taught but also acted out in daily life so that our young people can witness firsthand their value and learn right from wrong. This is just too amazing to even try a comment. My Administration has made this effort a top priority. Unbelievable! Our AmeriCorps national service program offers young people a practical means through which to demonstrate their beliefs in the civic virtues that traditionally have given our nation much of its strength of character. which is why we're now using tax money to pay 30-year-old utes to do things our parents did for free because our parents had, well, character. The family remains, of course, the core source of our values. Parents must teach their children from the earliest age, the difference between right and wrong. This cannot be done, of course, without a v-chip. But we all must do our part. Teachers, religious leaders, and other early-childhood role models must display the highest standards of respect for themselves and others We probably don't have to point out that "early-childhood role models" do not include presidents, cabinet officials, presidents' husbands, etc. Now, therefore, I, William J. Clinton, President of the United States of America, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Constitution and laws of the United States, do hereby proclaim October 13 through 19, 1996, as National Character Counts Week. Wow! A whole week. As you can tell by President Clinton and Bill's actions this week, National Character Counts Week is over. But could we tell that it ever started in the first place? Quote of the weak: "I do not believe that Abraham Lincoln would have adopted Bob Dole's position to end all affirmative action." Owl Gore Lincoln, in fact, would support Dole's position. President Clinton could confirm this herself if she wanted to ask him. Quote of the strong: "Would you buy a used election promise from this man?" Bob Dole Words to Live By is published from time to time by Spiff. You can send a fax to us here in the Spiff Executive Tower, on the banks of the mighty Cumberland River, at 615-847-2259, or you can send us e-mail at spiff@nashville.com, or find our web page at www.nashville.com/~spiff/spiff.htm