Words to Live By Since 1993 A SPIFF Publication Vol. 3, No. 35 Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives? Meanwhile... When we last left our heroes, (and Phil Bredesen) Governor Sundquist had firmly decided that the state of Tennessee will not be giving money to help Nashville build a new stadium for its imaginary football team. In the time it took us to turn around to congratulate the governor, we learned that the state is now going to kick in megabucks (literally) to the project. We've also learned that the stadium is going to be downtown, on the east bank of the mighty Cumberland River, just down stream from your friends at Spiff. If you ignore the fact that you can't get there from here (although they will build new roads so you can), and you ignore the fact that once you're there you can't park, it seems like a really good place to put a stadium. (By the way, here's a friendly tip for Mayor Phil. Now that you've decided on a place for the stadium, you can ignore those cost estimates of acquiring the land. The price of that land is now going to skyrocket, just like it did with the Land-Phil Dome. It's called supply and demand. It's an important part of capitalism. We thought you'd like to know.) And finally, we've learned how they (we) are going to pay for this thing. We're going to get a new food tax (as opposed to an old food tax, which would have been collected at some of the restaurants we saw on television last week). We're going to get a sales tax increase. And of course, we're going to get another property tax increase. The talk has been that these taxes will be temporary taxes. Yeah, right. Just like Ned Ray's temporary increase in the sales tax a few years back. In case you don't already know (and you probably do), there's no such thing as a temporary tax increase. Well, sure, in theory there is, but don't count on it in the real world. A real temporary tax increase proposal must have two things at the end of it: a line that says, "This tax will expire on [insert date here]" and another line that says, "Anyone who proposes that this tax continue beyond that time will be shot immediately." Maybe-- just maybe-- that could make a tax temporary. We here at Spiff are still not convinced that Nashville is going to get the Oilers, but even if they do come, when it comes time to build a stadium, it would be nice if the mayor and councilmen would be honest about the funding. TGIF! Thank God It's Finished! The trial of the century is finally over. It was called the trial of the century not because of its great importance to our way of life, but because that's how long it took to end the thing. While many are complaining about the outcome of the case, there is celebration at the Spiff Executive Tower, on the banks of the mighty Cumberland River. Not because we think the jury was right, but because a guilty verdict or a mistrial would have meant that we'd have to go through a whole other episode of "Lawyers on Parade" for at least another year. As it is, we will have to spend the next six months hearing and reading the commentary of no less than 441 legal experts telling us what we already know. After that, we can get back to having lives. For those of you who haven't had lives for the past year, but instead were fixed on Court TV, we'll give you a little help getting back to reality. Back when this epic saga began, sometime in the early 1950s, we here at Spiff got really disgusted at the coverage that that trial was getting. We gave you some suggestions about what you might want to do instead of watching it. Now that that trial is over, you may want to reread the list to find out what to do with your life. If you don't have yours any more, just let us know. We'll be glad to help. The Race Is On... The Front Page, That Is America is racist, and we can prove it statistically. That's the message that came across last week as Nashville's morning paper ran a short series of articles on racial differences in the criminal justice system. They determined that we are racist because black criminals are given longer sentences than white criminals for the same crimes. Even if we ignore the fact that these are mere stats (You remember, lies, [darn] lies, and statistics.), and accept the notion that black criminals are punished more than white criminals, the argument we have is with the conclusion that we are supposed to draw from this supposition: that black criminals are treated unfairly, and deserve lighter sentences in order to equalize the playing field. This isn't a playing field that needs to be equalized. It's a justice system that needs to punish criminals and protect the rest of us. If punishment needs to be adjusted to get rid of inequalities, or even if it doesn't, we don't need to start giving out Get-Out-of-Jail-Free cards. What we would need to do instead is start punishing white criminals more. If that means spending more money on prisons, fine. If it means firing up the electric chair to fry more white crooks, fine. If it means a racially proportional early release of prisoners in order to attain "fairness," that's not fine. Peter Out 'Twas a sad day last week when California governor Pete Wilson dropped out of the race to be the man who replaces both President Clinton and Bill. Well, ok, maybe not sad, but not especially happy either. It was more like-- well, almost like it never happened. Let's face it. On a scale of 1 to 10, the only reason Governor Wilson was in the race to begin with is because he is governor of a lot of electoral votes. His support was neither broad nor deep, and his message was all but present. His only issue, or at least the only one that got any attention from the medialibs, was illegal immigration. He opposed it. Well, that's good. Illegal immigration should be opposed. It's illegal. He was on the mark in opposing welfare for illegal aliens (a position with which some people actually disagree, although we don't understand why), but it really is not an issue with most Americans as it is with Californians. That much is understandable. Another part of the problem that got a lot of air time is that his position on the issue is very new to him. Now maybe Governor Wilson truly has had a change of heart on the issue, but it seems a strange coincidence that this change of heart happened at the same time that the position became politically expedient. He could just as easily change it back when the time comes. It wasn't a complete waste of time for him, thought. He has stuck his toe in the water. Maybe his whole foot. Who knows? It's just one of those overused analogies anyway. But he has an idea where his support is nationally, and he can use that knowledge later. And he will. Once again, the lesson politicians should learn here is that you need to know what you believe. Yes, it is possible to change your mind, but when you do, you need to know why. If you have no moral compass (or economic compass) and the people know it, they won't bother following you. Take President Clinton and Bill. Please. Their positions, especially in foreign policy, change daily to suit the circumstances. Yes, strategies need to change as the conditions change, but leadership by trial and error is simply leadership by error. Quote of the weak: "We can only conclude that this Republican Congress in condemning an entire generation of Americans to indigence, ignorance, and illness." Dick Gephardt Quote of the strong: "Now that Time Warner owns CNN, maybe Larry King can interview some of the other Loony Tunes besides Perot." Steve Tatham Words to Live By is published every week at about this time by Spiff. You can send a fax to us here in the Spiff Executive Tower, on the banks of the mighty Cumberland River, at 615-847-2259, or you can send us e-mail at spiff@nashville.com.