Words to Live By Since 1993 A SPIFF Publication Vol. 3, No. 23 Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Hulett. Better Late than-- Never Mind Sensing what we have known since January 4, Bill went before a national television audience to unveil his short-awaited plan to balance the budget in ten years without losing the ability to pander to the special interest groups that make up his 43% electoral coalition. Three years after he sat before Larry King and told the voters that he would present a plan that would eliminate the deficit in five years, Bill stepped forward with a plan that he says will eliminate the deficit in 10 years. This, remember, is the administration's second attempt this year at presenting a budget to the Congress. Four months ago, before the realization that things have really changed hit them, President Clinton and Bill sent up a budget that only let the deficit continue to grow. Now, reality has hit and it sent the White House scrambling. After they watched in amazement while the Republicans went out and did exactly what they said they were going to do and took the plunge toward a balanced budget. On Tuesday, Vice President Owl Gore hit the phone and called (lied to?) the heads of the major networks to announce that Bill wanted five minutes of airtime to discuss an impending national crisis. The impending national crisis turned out to be nothing more than Bill trying desperately to grab onto the mooring rope of a boat that has already sailed. It is difficult to fathom just how sad and irrelevant these people have become. After Bill made his dramatic statement to the little people, he sent his "I know how you feel, even though I am one of the wealthy that we want to tax" treasury secretary Robert Rubin onto Nightline to discuss the plan. Ted Koppel had to shame Rubin into discussing the plan with Senator Phil Gramm. Apparently, the White House had demanded that Rubin not share his time or debate with Senator Gramm. Perhaps they are not filled with a great deal of confidence in their proposal. It is important to remember that this crowd promised to balance the budget in five years. They promised to give the middle class a choice between a per-child tax credit or a reduction in their income tax rates. They abandoned the five-year plan even before President Clinton was sworn in and the 1993 budget vote that cost the libs the Congress raised taxes on everyone. All of this of course sent the libs in Congress into a crying frenzy. They had settled on their battle plan of calling Republicans "meanies" and holding up pictures of old people who are just waiting to die when the draconian cuts take effect. They had planned to never introduce a plan that balances the budget. They can't. It is genetically impossible. Senator Bob Dole got it right when he said this is a turning point. This is a debate about who we will be as a nation and what we will believe. It is about finally wresting the power from the arrogant few (but not few enough) in Washington and returning it to the people. At the very least, it will be fun to watch. This 'n' That Maybe he will get a cabinet spot: Politics has apparently done what President Clinton, Bill, or even Boutros Boutros couldn't do. In Somalia we mourn the overthrow of The Warlord, Mohammed Farrah Fawcett Aidid, as the leader of his particular clan. The Warlord provided us with several examples of Clinton policy failures, some funny and some tragic. He does still stand though as the embodiment of what happens when ignorant people turn our military over to arrogant U.N. diplomats, a lesson we are dangerously close to learning again in Bosnia. He's a smart kid: His training led him to survive his ordeal in the Bosnian countryside, but brains must have led Captain Scott O'Grady to make this very intelligent statement about a letter of congratulations he received after his return to the U.S. "The one I got from Ronald Reagan was dear to my heart. My mom is going to get it framed. He gave me what I always wanted. He gave me some jelly beans. He said that the next time I go out in the woods I should bring some of these, and inside the bag were the jelly beans." And this military hero is the only kind of government employee that President Clinton and Bill want to force cuts upon. Go figure. I know The President. The President is a friend of mine: We at Spiff are trying not to be anti-anyone in the Republican presidential sweepstakes (well, except for Arlen Specter, but who cares?). It is only a coincidence that Lamar Alexander stumbled again so soon after the Tennessee Primary fiasco that we criticized. But we are here to point things out. In a recent edition of the Evening Tennessean, Mr. Alexander made a point of noting that he didn't know of any governor, including himself, who didn't look at the White House in the '80s and think he could do a better job than the occupant of the time. Let's see, that would be--why, that would be The President! The inference (or outright claim) that any governor of the time, including the exalted Mr. Alexander, could have done a better job than The President is probably not the best way to go about collecting votes in a Republican primary, especially one in which he is trying to convince everyone how conservative he is. But who are we to argue with a national candidate who is zipping along at a 4% clip in the polls? Lest we forget: With all the hoopla and prediction over which Republican will be the next president of the United States, the medialibs have completely ignored one candidate-- an American icon. Yes, Pat Paulsen is running for president-- again. He's running as a Democrat, mostly because nobody else is. He sent us some campaign literature, which listed some of his issues: ù Slogan: "United We Sit" ù Foreign Aid: We don't want any. ù Health Care: I don't think we need to care for healthy people. ù Ross Perot: What can you say about him that hasn't already been said about the Lollipop Kids? ù Bill Clinton: Wrong or wrong, he is still president. ù Favorite Quote in Iowa "Being from Los Angeles, I'll be right at home as President. After all, the White House is the only place I know that has as many drive by shootings as we do." We knew it was fly-by-night: Congressman (formerly Our Congressman, formerly Your Congressman) Bob Clement should be proud. His most successful accomplishment of his long (far too long) career suddenly disappeared. Until now, if you called his office to ask what he has done, they would brag about the wonderful London Route-- a nonstop flight from London that was brought to Nashville singlehandedly by C. Bob (with the help of Phil Bredesen and more than five million of your tax dollars). During its brief but short life, the London Route brought tens of dollars to Nashville's economy. Now the route has been cancelled. Why? Because not enough people cared enough to buy tickets. We told you so. In addition to the whining, count on seeing (or not seeing, as the case may be) C. Bob and the local politicians offering more of your tax dollars to the airline to keep flying empty planes to London. Quote of the weak and frustrated: "Most of us learned some time ago that if you don't like the president's position on a particular issue, you simply need to wait a few weeks." Lib Representative David Obey Quote of the strong: "Tonight, it was good to see President Clinton join with 99 Senators in rejecting his own original budget plan." Senator Phil Gramm Words to Live By is published every week at about this time by Spiff. You can send a fax to us here in the Spiff Executive Tower, on the banks of the mighty Cumberland River, at 615-847-2295.