Words to Live By Since 1993 A SPIFF Publication Vol. 3, No. 18 How did the fool and his money get together in the first place? V-E Day You have read many times in the pages of WTLB our dissatisfaction with Bill Clinton for travelling to Russia for the observance of the 50th anniversary of Victory in Europe Day. We don't agree with it, we don't like it, and we think that it points out a glaring deficiency in this presidency. But this is not the week to argue the point. Fifty years to the moment you receive this, the world was rejoicing at the end of one part of the greatest crisis our nation, and humanity as a whole, has faced. While the pacific War was still to be won, the world had seen the end of Adolph Hitler's reign of terror across Europe and Africa. It was a moment to remember. Half a century later we look back at the four years that defined this century and forever changed the course of history. At this time it is important to look back at the courage displayed by the people not only of our country but all of the Allied nations and by the victims of Nazi oppression. The question is often asked, "If we had to mount such a campaign again, could we?" Perhaps this isn't the right question. Perhaps the right question is, "Do our leaders have a defining moment to shape their view of life and the nation?" We owe a great debt to the World War II generation. They saw the risk in letting your guard down. Their determination was forged in the fire of war and that determination saw this nation through the long decades of tension as freedom faced communism. That mettle is missing in most of our leaders today. Everyone is a victim, or their opponents are unfair, and they need the help of the government to survive. Many of our leaders do not remember that time. But that is the dictate of time. The problem is that they haven't taken the time to look back and learn. History is a very good teacher. But if you don't take the time to learn its lessons, it will give you a refresher course whether you like it or not. Look past the names in history books--Churchill, Roosevelt, Eisenhower, and MacArthur. If you look at their words and deeds you will find many of the lessons that you need to build a successful life and nation. They are lessons worth learning. The first lesson they will teach is to never again elect a president who is more interested in whining and placing the blame than doing the business that must be done. Fifty years ago, the most heroic of men met and beat back the greatest reach of tyranny this world may ever see. We do those men a disservice and dishonor if we do not pause to reflect on their sacrifice and triumph. As this week unfolds, and Bill Clinton bites his lip in mock emotion, remember that there are greater forces at work in this world than sheer ambition and self-preservation. Be it in positioning all your life to be president or fleeing to another country to avoid service. Bear in mind that this attitude is the exception, not the rule. The men and women who fought the battles and kept the home fires burning deserve the thanks of a grateful world and the honored place they will hold in our history. Madam Zelda Returns She was so popular the last time she came to visit, we thought we would bring her back again. So, without further delay, and without the $19.95 per minute you would have to pay if you called the Dionne Warwick Psychic Fiends Hotline, we present Spiff spiritual advisor, Madam Zelda. Spiff: Hello, Madam Zelda. Zelda: Woe unto those who do not believe in the power of Madam Zelda! S: Uh, yeah, whatever. So, tell us, what do you see today? Z: The spirits reveal many things, oh, Spiff leaders. I see troubled times ahead for President Clinton. She will be unable to hold together the liberal wing of her party and will face a primary challenge in 1996. My crystal ball predicts that she will lose the California Primary to the ticket of Barbra Streisand and Barbara Boxer and be forced to withdraw from the race. The Democrat convention will be moved from Chicago to a mystical mountain near Gallup, New Mexico where the new Secretary-of-Light-and-Happiness-nominee Owl Gore will conduct earth-friendly ceremonies. S: Tell us about Bill Clinton. Z: Oh, I see a great improvement for Bill Clinton, but it will do him little good. To shore up the left wing, President Clinton will have to travel the country on a bus singing "The Way We Were" to convince the party of her true liberal credentials. As the 1996 elections draw near, Bill Clinton will come to be viewed as the moderate, level-headed half of the first family and will be driven from the Mystic Mountain as a traitor to the movement, and end up selling "I've been to Whitewater. How 'bout you?" t-shirts in Hot Springs, Arkansas. S: Really? What about Owl Gore? Z: As I mentioned earlier, when President Clinton is forced to withdraw her name from consideration in the Democrat primary, Owl Gore will catch a whiff of the changing political winds and jump ship. In order to convince everyone that they are serious. The Streisand-Boxer '96 team will announce that Owl will be the only secretary that they will appoint, and will announce that because all that we do affects the earth, he will be placed in charge of everything. Owl will announce that if his new team wins in November, his first act will be to turn all of our nuclear silos into marigold planters. After the Streisand/Boxer '96 campaign fails, he will sign on for a tour of duty as the anchor on the Greenpeace ship "Nuisance." S: Fascinating. Tell us more. Z: After the defeat, Janet Reno will return to her one true love--Popeye, the sailor. I see Bruce Babbit fleeing into Yellowstone Park with a pack of newly reintroduced grey wolves nipping at his heels and vanishing forever. I see great happiness for Donna Shalalala as her long lost relatives emerge from the underground and take her back to rule the Mole Kingdom with any government mandate she wishes. And after January 20, 1997, I see a great time for our nation. S: Thank you, Madam Zelda. Inspirational as always. Hmmmmm.... This year, we're celebrating the 50th anniversary of V-E Day. That's Victory in Europe Day. This year, we're also celebrating the 50th anniversary of the End of the Pacific War. It used to be called V-J Day. That's Victory over Japan Day. But now President Clinton and Bill have determined that V-J Day just isn't a good idea. Why? Well, it's because it would be, well, er, um...racist. In the interest of consistency (Well, somebody has to be interested in consistency.) maybe we should drop V-E Day in favor of Victory over Dead, White, European Males Day. Or maybe Liberation of One Bunch of Angry White Males from Another Bunch of Angry White Males--What's the Point Day. How about Victory over Right-Wing Extremists Day? V-E Day sounds good. Quote of the weak: "We have kept politics completely out of our fight against terrorism." Bill Clinton Quote of the strong: "If I were president and all this stuff were happening, I couldn't blame me for it." Rush Limbaugh, explaining why he won't run for president. Words to Live By is published every week at about this time by Spiff. You can send a fax to us here in the Spiff Executive Plaza, towering over beautiful downtown Donelson, Tennessee at 615-883-0435.