Words to Live By Since 1993 A SPIFF Publication Vol. 3, No. 14 Nothing ventured, nothing gained, nothing taxed! A Perfect 10 (Almost) Contrary to what you have read in the papers or heard on the networks, the Contract with America has been fulfilled. In exchange for the American people making the Republicans the majority in the House, the House Republicans brought to the floor recorded votes on: 1. The Balanced Budget Amendment and a Line-item Veto 2. A real crime bill 3. Welfare reform 4. Tougher penalties for kiddie porn 5. Tax cuts 6. Keeping our armed forces out of foreign command 7. Rollbacks on the Social Security recipients' tax increases 8. Reductions in business regulations and taxes 9. Legal reforms 10. Term limits Sure, there were some disappointments. The Senate killed the BBA, but that doesn't mean they can't balance the budget. Term limits didn't pass the House. Yet. Tax cuts and legal reform haven't even hit the floor of the Senate yet. More promises were kept in the first 100 days of the 104th Congress than in the previous 40 years. No surprise there. The networks want you to believe that since the Balanced Budget Amendment lost in the Senate (this time) that the House Republicans failed in their promise. These are the same networks that want you to believe that since President Clinton and Bill thought about considering a middle-class tax cut, they kept their promise to give you one. Yes, we really do want term limits, and we won't shut up until we get them. But Speaker Newt did what 40 years' worth of liberals refused to do. He let the members of the House vote on these things. Now, for the first time, we know who's for a balanced budget and who's against it. What about the next 100 days? Will they straighten up the military? Will they eliminate the NEA, PBS, Amtrack, etc.? The liberals chanted (in unison) that since the first 100 days are over, now it's time to get down to business. They're right, but they don't know it. Out of Touch What becomes a hypocrite most? For the answer, you need look no further than the frontiers of the Spiff Executive Plaza, towering over beautiful downtown Donelson, Tennessee. There, in the Sixth Congressional District of Tennessee lies the den of Tennessee's most blatant hypocrite (or at least the most blatant one left after Nov. 8), Bart Gordon. Why do we call Bart the greatest remaining hypocrite? Well, look what we have to compare him to. Harold Ford is a liberal and hates half his district, and Our Congressman Bob Clement is too insignificant to mention. You don't have to look back across the entirety of Bart's sprawling and depressing career to discover the truth. You need only look at the last Congress when Bart was in the majority and this one, where he is in the minority. Don't listen to his words; look at his deeds. For years, Bart skipped along, secure in the knowledge that he was safe in his liberal views. All he had to do was come home to face an underfunded and occasionally loopy challenger, and tell the voters how in touch he was with their values. Two funny things happened. Slowly, his district began to change. Suburbanites fled the overcrowded confines of Davidson county and landed in the four counties to the south and east_making them more Republican every day. Then two well funded and strong challenges shook Bart down to his shoes. Marsha Blackburn in 1992 and Steve Gill in 1994 systematically began the unmasking of Bart as a true liberal. Gill came so close in 1994 that Bart barely escaped with his political life. In 1993, Bart's colors were on full display. Emboldened by a liberal President and her husband, he voted for the single largest tax increase in American history. In an opinion article in the Franklin, Tennessee Review Appeal, Bart lashed out at the Republicans who were criticizing his votes and strongly asserted that history would prove that his vote for more taxes and more government to be the right choice. Flash forward to 1995. His majority gone, stripped of his committee seniority, and barely able to hold his seat, Bart has changed tactics. In the Contract with America, which he savaged during the campaign, Bart voted for term limits. Bart voted for a line-item veto. He voted for the Balanced Budget Amendment. And Bart Gordon voted to cut taxes, apparently giving up on the history that he said would judge him right after only two years. How can this be? The answer is simple: the man is addicted to his office. He has no real job. He has no real life. Make no mistake, at his core, Bart Gordon is a liberal. We believe that the votes he cast before this year were the ones that represent his true political philosophy. Unfortunately, he is so obsessed with maintaining his office, no matter how diminished he may be, that he will sell out his basic beliefs. But, we at Spiff are generous. In an effort to help Bart, we offer a few slogans for his 1996 campaign. (That "in touch" thing is getting a little old): ù Bart Gordon. Hey, he has to get elected somehow! ù Bart Gordon. He was never as liberal as you thought. ù Bart and Newt in '96! and our personal favorite: ù Bart Gordon. He's a liberal, and he's not even honest about that! There can be no more indicative sign of what is wrong with Congress than the sight of a Congressman who has spent his entire life in politics reduced to voting against himself to save his job. We pity him. Your Tax Dollars at Play Have you seen the signs? If you haven't, that's just another example of how worthless they are. You know, those cute signs with the cute little... well, er, something that looks sort of like a... well, er, a bug maybe? They say "Bee Alert." Last time somebody tacked the letter e onto a word where it didn't belong, the comedians and the networks (what's the difference?) fought for the right to come up with the least original way to make fun of Vice President Quayle. This time nobody's noticing, which is part of the problem. The state is using your tax dollars to put up road signs to tell you to bee alert (for roade constructione?) And besides, we always thought it was, "Be alert. The world needs more--oh, never mind. Quote of the weak: "As a citizen, I don't actually believe we are too highly taxed, nor, as a grownup, do I believe in the Easter bunny." cartoonist Art Spiegelman Quote of the strong: "Isn't it nice to have some people in Congress who've signed the front side of a paycheck before?" Haley Barbour, celebrating the success of the Contract with America Words to Live By is published every week at about this time by Spiff. You can send a fax to us here in the Spiff Executive Plaza, towering over beautiful downtown Donelson, Tennessee at 615-883-0435.