Words to Live By Since 1993 A SPIFF Publication Vol. 3, No. 11 What if there were no hypothetical situations? Green On Foreign Policy How did you spend your St. Patrick's Day? Like most Americans, we here at the Spiff Executive Plaza, towering above beautiful Donelson, Tennessee, did the usual green thing. On the day when everyone has a little Irish in them, Americans celebrated with parades, parties, inviting terrorists to their house, green clothes, and an occasional politically incorrect pinch for those who forgot their green clothes. No, that was not a typo or a mix up in stories. To celebrate the day, President Clinton and Bill decided to invite Gerry Adams, leader of Sinn Fien--the political wing of the Irish Republican Army. (If this were an organization to be trusted, the IRA would instead be the terrorist wing of Sinn Fien.) Anyone who knows anything knows that the Irish idea of Republican and the American idea of Republican are more than just an ocean apart. For decades the IRA has been a threat to the lives of people in Northern Ireland and even Britain itself. It was an IRA bomb that almost killed Margaret Thatcher, the Prime Minister, in 1984. Adams' crimes have been so heinous that, for years, British television banned his picture and voice from broadcasts. When we had presidents who knew anything about foreign policy, they refused to even speak to Adams. So, it should come as no surprise that for his efforts to blow up various British government officials, this president and her husband would welcome him to the White House and treat him to a lovely dinner along with world-renowned figures as Ted Kennedy. The question of course is "why?" The answer lies in the same place it always does with this crowd--a special interest group whose votes president Clinton and Bill need to shore up to somehow get above 43% of the vote in 1996. This time it is the American Catholic Community. President Clinton and Bill ignored the advice of their own Just-us Department and State Department and the fact that this is a grave and disgusting insult to the British citizens who have died in decades of terrorist attacks. Who did they listen to? Why, the previously mentioned Senator Kennedy. Let's see. If you want advice on a moral decision (and make no mistake, this is a moral decision) do you talk to Prime Minister John Major or Ted Kennedy? Advice should only be sought from Ted Kennedy on the hottest chick hangout. We're not going to point out the obvious here. We are confident that you know how stupid these people are, especially in foreign policy. Mrs. The President Returns Ever so briefly, dignity returned to our nation's capital recently as Nancy Reagan, or as she is more commonly know in the pages of WTLB, Mrs. The President, came to Washington to testify before a House subcommittee on drug abuse. Mrs. The President's presence recalled the good old days when we had a first lady with style and grace. Heck, her presence recalled the days when we had a first lady. Mrs. the President went to Washington with one purpose, to rekindle the fire that she ignited during the 1980s when, before any government official or blow-dried anchorman, she sounded the alarm on the issue of illegal drug use among children and young adults. Since that time, the issue has vanished from the national radar. President Clinton and Bill decided that the offices charged with fighting drug use would be the one part of the government that they didn't want to expand. They never understood the idea of leading by example (which isn't surprising, they never understood the idea of leading) and ended the practice of requiring White House employees to submit to mandatory drug tests. Hmmm. These are the same people who sat bitterly carping on the sidelines while Mrs. The President traveled the nation with a simple message, "Just Say No," and began to unravel the drug culture they came to revere in the '60s. During the time that Mrs. The President waged her campaign with that simple slogan that the libs ridiculed, drug use among young people began to drop noticeably. The kids were smart enough to make the right choices. So what happened? The media forgot, the politicians forgot, the public forgot, then we elected a president who didn't care and her husband who didn't inhale. Today, those same statistics that showed a drop in drug use, now reveal that drug use is up across the board. In the words of Mrs. The President, "How could we have forgotten so quickly?" Mrs. The President struck such a sensitive nerve. that Clinton Administration officials were forced to admit in a national news magazine that they had dropped the ball on the issue. It is not rare that they drop the ball, but it is rare that they admit that they are wrong. It was nice to see Nancy again. Whenever she or The President make an appearance, it makes us here at the plaza a little nostalgic. It made the event even more enjoyable to know that Mrs. The President waltzed into Washington with an issue that cuts to the very heart of why these people fail. They think they are better than us. They think that we overreact to issues like drugs, pornography, and the basic moral issues that define the decency of a people. She took that issue and used it to nail President Clinton and Bill right between the eyes. I Think This Waiter's Got a Fake Accent! How many times have you turned on your radio or television (too many times, but we digress) to hear a newsman reading a piece about a Latin American country, droning on and on in his professional, accent-free voice until, suddenly, he hits a Spanish word, inspiring him to suddenly adopt a Cuban accent! During the evil '80s, for example, the stories went something like this: "Ten thousand nuns and orphans were slaughtered today thanks to the Reagan administration's funding of the Nee-ca-rrrrraug-uan Cone-trrrras." Even words that are now part of normal American conversation are sending reporters into their let's-pretend-we-speak-the-language mode. A couple of weeks ago there was a story about Mah-gah-RRRRREEEEET-ahs and tequila. (Why it wasn't about tah-KEEEE-lah we're not yet sure. Film at eleven.) Has it ever occurred to these Turner-inspired medialibs that these accent switches sound more like mockery than respect or whatever touchy-feely response they're trying to get? Look at it from the other side. Have you ever heard a foreigner try to speak American? Sounds pretty silly. It seems that the guys on the foreign--er, international beat only seem to slip into foreign--er, international accents on Spanish words. But what if the disease spreads? German words would have to be spoken in a low, gruff tone. Chinese names would be high and nasal. (They'd also change every 12 years, but that's another story.) How about here in the good ol' USA? Would the folks at CNN refer to free-lance Secretary of State Jmmeh Ctah? Will the sports reporters talk about the Bowoston Red Swawks? (Not now, anyway.) We're just glad that no news ever comes out of Minnesota. Quote of the weak: "I will launch the mother of all filibusters." Diane Feinstein, doing her best Sodom-Hussein-meets-the-anti-gun-lobby imitation Quote of the strong: "Liberals cannot continue indefinitely justifying their current policies by showing old newsreels of themselves marching at Selma" Thomas Sowell Words to Live By is published every week at about this time by Spiff. You can send a fax to us here in the Spiff Executive Plaza, towering over beautiful downtown Donelson, Tennessee at 615-883-0435.