Words to Live By Since 1993 A SPIFF Publication Vol. 3, No. 4 "Invest in Mexic_ I mean, America!" Bill Clinton It Don't Add Up As we promised in the very second issue of WTLB, whenever we see the media acting unusually stupid, we will rush to the defense of reality. Please bear in mind that we can do this only when they are unusually stupid. Otherwise, we would have nothing else to write about. In its ongoing struggle to educate us about the disaster we wrought on Nov. 8, the Tennessean, our local journal of unbiased liberalism, recently published what they called a "budget cutting game" in the Sunday edition of their newspaper. The basic premise was that the player is a member of Congress who must put together $251 billion worth of spending cuts and tax increases while still keeping his voter approval rating above 50% to win reelection. Obviously, the best option was not to play, and we didn't. What we did do was analyze the options given and add up the numbers they gave us to use. What do you think we found? If you agree to all of the spending cut options given, the total adds up to a figure that is far short of the $251 billion needed to eliminate the deficit. Nowhere could you find the option of closing the Department of Education. Nowhere could you find the option to pull the plug on the Department of Energy. There was no option to rid us of the Department of Agriculture. Trust us, folks, there is a lot there to cut. During our trip to witness the revolution in Washington, we discovered that the Agriculture Department has one of the largest office buildings in town. What about the other side? Well, if you agree to all of the tax increases they offer, you reach much more than you need to balance the budget. Amazing, isn't it? We have been so foolish. All we have to do is take everything from everybody, and it will all work out. Momentarily touching reality, the Tennessean does recognize that tax increases will cost you poll points (a lesson they and a lot of other out-of-work libs learned in the last election). This is the kind of philosophy that has been running the show for the past 40 years. With the new Congress in power, it looks even sillier than it did before. We hope the new Congress is more serious about cutting the deficit than the Tennessean or the friends they lost last November. Math Quiz: A train leaves Nashville for Atlanta at noon and averages 125 miles per hour. At the same time, a car leaves Nashville for Atlanta, averaging 80_ er, 65 miles per hour. Which one gets to the Olympics first? Neither, because Bob Clement is riding in the first-class section of the plane, but that's another story. The next to arrive would be the car. Why? Many reasons. The car might make one pit stop in Chattanooga. The train would have to stop in Murfreesboro, Chattanooga, and every little town along the way. Why? So Our Congressman Bob Clement (who flew back from Atlanta after realizing that he forgot to take the train) has to get his picture taken beside the train every 60 miles so he can fill up his next newsletter. In his never-ending effort to find an accomplishment, just in case John Osborne decides to run against him in 1996 (Please, John!), O.C. Bob has determined that he can use his awesome power in the House Public Works and Transportation Committee to declare that an Amtrak super-duper turbo train shall run as a shuttle between Nashville and Atlanta during the Olympics. Never mind the fact that O.C. Bob forgot to see if Amtrak was interested. Never mind the fact that he forgot to see if there are any railroad tracks between Nashville and Atlanta that can handle a train at such high speeds. Never mind the fact that he forgot that he is a Democrat in the 104th Congress. Was Bob Clement in charge of lights, seats, and tunnels for the Land-Phil Dome? Consequences We here at Spiff have watched, with some degree of interest, the ongoing soap opera involving Louis Farrakhan and the daughter of Malcom X. To be honest, we don't have a dog in this fight. We don't know if she did try to hire someone to kill Farrakhan. We do know that his assertion that it is yet another government plot to destroy him is silly. Government does a lot of stupid things, but taking down this loudmouth bigot is probably not tops on its to-do list. This episode does, however, give us an opportunity to illustrate the dangers of demagogues who have an impact on impressionable minds. Several lifetimes ago, one of your benevolent Spiff publishers knew a very nice young woman_ who happened to be black. They came to know each other and became friends through their jobs. The young woman worked part time at her job because she was still in school. At work, the two friends laughed and joked about different things, including the differences between races. Having many common interests, they found a great deal to talk about during breaks or while working. That is until the young woman attended a lecture one night on her college campus. The speaker that night was Louis Farrakhan, and his impact on the young woman was immediate. Delivering his customary tirade against the white establishment, he painted for the young woman a picture of a race under siege. Around every corner lurked another plot to tear down her opportunities to succeed, just because she was a black woman. He told those kids that their country was out to destroy them, and his Nation of Islam was their only defense against a hostile and evil world. The young woman listened, and believed. She took the square pegs from Farrakhan's rantings and forced them into the round holes of her life. From that night forward, her life and perception of the world changed. The jokes that once made her laugh now only served as ammunition for discrimination lawsuits. From the night she heard Farrakhan speak until her last day on the job, the young woman perceived every disagreement with a coworker as a racial attack. If clients did not agree with her, they immediately became racists. All of the friendships she had built at her job crumbled under her constant accusations of racism. She withdrew from everyone except the small group of people on her college campus that also believed in Farrakhan's words, and eventually quit her job and never spoke to her white friends again. This is the tragedy of people like Louis Farrakhan. Not that they are allowed to speak. Our Constitution guarantees them that right. The tragedy occurs when people like this capture and hold (or are given) a legitimate platform. The impact they have on some people, especially young people, can be devastating. As with that young woman, a lifetime of hatred and ignorance can be born in one night--or even one speech. No matter who they attack, their words are still destructive. They don't hurt the people they attack. They only hurt the people who listen. Quote of the strong: "We've tried a president who's needed training wheels for the first couple of years." Dan Quayle Quote of the weak: "It's the only place where children can be exposed to kindness and friendliness." LeVar Burton, on PBS Words to Live By is published every week at about this time by Spiff. You can send a fax to us here in the Spiff Executive Plaza, towering over beautiful downtown Donelson, Tennessee at 615-883-0435.