Words to Live By Since 1993 A SPIFF Publication Vol. 2, No. 48 Welcome, Senator Thompson Prayer Is Cheap Well, the good news is that Dick Armey has changed his tune. Last week, we told you in the pages of WTLB that some Republican leaders, including Rep. Armey, had decided that because they are now in the majority, Congressional term limits are no longer a priority. Last week, he came to his senses and reassured us that both the House and Senate will vote on a term limit amendment within the first 100 days of the 104th Congress. It looked like they had learned their lesson until last Thursday, when Jim Nussle, Transition Director for the House, said in a news conference that he wasn't sure that such Capitol jobs as elevator operator and chaplain would be eliminated. As Charlie Brown would say, "Aaaarrrrgh!" There is absolutely no need for an elevator operator in the Capitol. If our Senators and Representatives are not smart enough to figure out how to push the buttons on an elevator, our country is in worse shape than we thought. If these Congressmen are too important or too busy reading another 1,500-page bill to push their own buttons, (Insert your own joke here.) that's just that much more evidence that Washington is too self-important and tries to do too much. The chaplain should also be eliminated. This is a job that, Nussle admitted, pays more than $100,000 a year. To do what? To open each session in prayer, mostly. There is no doubt that Congress needs prayer. But do we need to pay someone this much money to do that? Don't you think that we could find enough ministers and priests so someone different each day could volunteer to lead the opening prayer? Of course. Even in Washington. Rep. Nussle was asked by someone in the crowd about volunteer chaplains. He said that the idea had not been ruled out, but the chaplain has become much more than just someone to open in prayer, as he was in the early days of the country. The chaplain has become a personal minister to the members of Congress. Well, isn't that nice! How about this for a novel idea: maybe the members of Congress should join churches and when they need spiritual guidance, they can go to their own ministers. There are advantages to the country in keeping a paid chaplain. For one, his presence puts a really nasty hurt on the sacred concept of "Separation of Church and State." Try as they might, when you point out to liberals that Congress and the Supreme Court all start their days in prayer, they just can't convincingly write it off to tradition. These prayers are to God, not to Tradition. When we get our school prayer amendment, though, this argument won't be nearly as important. Besides, no one (and we do consider the ACLU to be no one) wants to eliminate the chaplain, just the paid position. Republican Congressmen, you were elected to get rid of Congressional perks. Fire the elevator operator. Fire the chaplain. For that matter, fire everybody, and hire back only those we (that's we, the American people, not you, the Congress) need. We're not looking for a two-year stand. A Lott of Improvement Last week, the Republicans in Congress elected their leaders for the 104th Congress, including Speaker of the House, Majority Leaders of the House and Senate, and Majority Whips. (You already knew that, but it's such fun to type Republican and majority in the same paragraph.) To no one's surprise, His Newtness (Newtity? Probably not.) was elected as Speaker of the House. His primary function is, of course, to make funny faces while Bill delivers President Clinton's State of the Union Speech. Some of us were surprised to see Mississippi's Trent Lott dethrone Alan Simpson as Senate Republican Whip. It was seen as a victory for conservatives. Gee, what a shock! Sen. Simpson is not exactly an east-coast liberal, even by Republican standards. (Senator, you're no Ted Kennedy.) A couple of days before the vote, he was on television telling us that he didn't understand why people saw him as more liberal than Sen. Lott. He said that the only issue on which he disagrees with conservatives is abortion. Well, Senator, it should be easy for you to narrow down your problem. The vote was also seen as a victory for Sen. Phil Gramm over Sen. Bob Dole, which some also see as a victory for conservatism over liberalism itself. This may be the big battle in the Senate for the next two years: not Republicans against Democrats or even conservatives against liberals, but Gramm against Dole for the Presidency of the United States. It could be a fun fight, watching the two battle to see which is more conservative on each issue. Let's just ignore the liberals. Forget President Clinton's socialist agenda. Forget Bill trying to gut the armed forces of America, and then expecting to be applauded as a brilliant patriot when he suggests returning a little money to the budget. Let's get to the real questions. Should we cut the tax on capital gains, or eliminate it? Should we privatize Amtrak, or privatize Social Security? Do we reform Welfare, or let the families and churches of America regain their responsibilities? Will we eliminate the Department of Education tomorrow or yesterday? If we want to keep control of this country's legislative process, we'll fight for ideals, not over personalities. One thing is clear from the recent votes. Whether it's real or perceived, liberalism is a loser. Don't You Get It Yet? There he was again. Three weeks after the people of Tennessee said 18 years was long enough, Jim Sasser (We know, you are used to us referring to him as Daffuhzit Jim, but with his resounding defeat, we have decided to retire his nickname.) appeared on "Nightline" and briefly discussed why he thought he lost. Was it that he raised our taxes? No. Was it that he repeatedly listened to what we wanted and voted against us? No. Was it that he voted with President Clinton and Bill 88% of the time? No. So what was it? "In our part of the country, seniority used to mean something," he said. He went on to tell the reporter how difficult it is to run the federal government. That it takes years to learn the tricks and nuances of getting things accomplished. What he meant was that in his government, it took years to learn how to cut the deals, twist the arms, and use the pork to get your way in Congress. Was the government so difficult to understand when Sasser first took his seat in the Senate? Or was he part of making it so big and complicated? The simple truth is that liberal bureaucrats have had their grubby little hands on the levers of power for too long and created this monster. Maybe the new leadership can do something about it. In the same report, "Nightline" also spoke with the man who rid us of Sasser, Senator-elect Bill Frist. When asked if he was overwhelmed by the enormity of the task ahead, Frist said that it was like any other thing you have to do in life. You learn the rules and do your best. How refreshing. Hopefully this will be the prevailing attitude in the new Congress. On the last night of Sasser's reign, the Senate passed the GATT treaty and then turned its attention to honoring Jim. One by one, they stood up to pay tribute. Barbara Boxer refereed to Sasser as "my mentor." Donald Riegle began to cry. We at Spiff just smiled. And in the end, it proved to be a validation of what we said and the Frist campaign said all along. For the Senators that were moved to take to the floor and lay tributes at Sasser's feet were, by an overwhelming percentage, members of the liberal wing of the Senate. Proving that Sasser really was too liberal for Tennessee and 18 years was long enough! A new day has dawned in Tennessee. It looks pretty bright. Quote of the weak: "In the final analysis, those who make up the philosophical middle make up the majority." Vermont Senator Jim Jeffords Quote of the strong: "I've never met more blockheads than moderate Republicans." Rush Limbaugh Words to Live By is published every week at about this time by Spiff. You can send a fax to us here in the Spiff Executive Plaza, towering over beautiful downtown Donelson, Tennessee at 615-883-0435.