Words to Live By
Since 1993	A SPIFF Publication	Vol. 2, No. 39
This issue was cruelly tested on small, furry animals.


Here We Go Again

A comparison for you, our loyal readers, to ponder:

Two years ago, we "intervened" in Somalia, a place in which we had no national
interest. Last week, we "intervened" in Haiti, a place in which we had no
national interest. In Somalia, our forces were warmly welcomed when they
arrived. In Haiti, our forces were warmly welcomed when they arrived. When the
mission in Somalia began, our soldiers were told to stay out of fighting between
Somalis. When the mission in Haiti began, our soldiers were told to stay out of
fighting between Haitians. Within months, our mission in Somalia changed and our
soldiers were told to use force against Somalis. Within days, our mission in
Haiti changed, and our soldiers were told to use force against Haitians. In
Somalia, we decided to take away Somali guns. In Haiti, we decided to take away
Haitians' guns Eventually, our soldiers began shooting Somalis. We now have
begun shooting Haitians. We left Somalia after our soldiers were ambushed and
killed. We hope it does not happen again.

Apparently, some of us do not learn from history. Only a year ago, the nation
was consumed with pictures of an American soldier, one of our boys, dragged
through the streets of Mogadishu like the trophy of a deer hunter. It cost Les
Aspin his job, but it cost that young man and his family infinitely more.

Now, here we are again. Because the Clinton White House is hell-bent on proving
its toughness in foreign policy, we have sent our troops into another country
which holds absolutely no security interest for the United States of America. We
don't know why our people are in danger again. We can only guess at the reasons
to put our people down in an isolated island nation with no economy, no
military, and no power. But Haiti does have a lot of places for snipers to hide
and it has a lot of guns that we cannot find, let alone confiscate.

It took months for Clinton to turn a humanitarian mission in Somalia into a
guerilla war with a two-bit thug. We see the same signs in Haiti in only a
matter of days. Our killing of ten (so far) Haitians will only anger and stiffen
the resolve of those who do not want us occupying their country. Allowing the
despots who caused the trouble to remain in the country gives those same people
a rallying point. And placing an insolent little Marxist, who had to be
pressured into thanking our troops, back into power is a mistake of the first
rank.

It is a shame that Clinton has not learned the lessons of Vietnam, Panama, the
Gulf War, and Somalia. In two of those operations, we learned that an unclear
objective combined with a lack of strength and commitment leads to disaster. In
the others, we knew where we were going, what we were doing, and how to do it.
Before this one gets out of hand, perhaps the Clinton Administration will try to
learn from history rather than trying to rewrite it.


Bill Saves!

We're not sure who invited him, but Bill Clinton was actually on the campaign
circuit this weekend, campaigning for Democrats. One of his stops was in
Minnesota, where he made an appearance to help (if that's possible) Ann Wynia, a
Senate nominee for the Democrats. Actually, she's not a Democrat. She's a member
of the DFL_ the Democrat Farm Labor party. Minnesota, land of 10,000 farm price
supports, never did things the normal way. Hubert Humphrey, Paul Wellstone, and
Walter Mondale, for example.

While he was droning on about how Ann would represent Minnesota's Democrats so
well, someone in the audience collapsed. Faster than a speeding bullet from a
banned assault rifle, Bill reacted with his usual authority. He blamed Ronald
Reagan. No, wait. He yelled, "Health care?" Then he asked if anyone knew CPR.
(After looking at the bureaucracy of the Clinton Comprehensive Care Plan, we
think he probably meant CPA.) He then told the audience to make plenty of room,
waved his arms, and miraculously, the fallen victim was healed! Praise the L_
oops. We almost forgot to separate church and state. Whew, that was close!

"Are we ok?" Bill asked. Those of us sitting in the Spiff Executive Plaza,
towering over beautiful Donelson, Tennessee, wanted to answer him, but we showed
restraint. He then tried to turn what could have been one man's tragedy into
Bill's political gain. "I appreciate his support for the urgency of health care
reform," Bill quipped. Sure, he was trying to be funny, but this is the guy
who's been complaining about the drug companies' unfair gains from the health
care woes of others.


Airport '94

Now that the furor has died down over the plane crash on the White House lawn,
we thought it might be fun to take a look at the fair and balanced coverage of
the event. Ok, now that that's done, let's look at how it was covered by the
networks.

Not since the hearings for the trial of that former football player has there
been such an uproar from the national media. The thought of their beloved
president and her husband placed in any kind of danger sent the press into fits
of shock and outrage. Dan Rather Biased let fly with an almost hysterical radio
commentary demanding answers of the Secret Service, the FBI, the D.C. Police,
the Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines, Coast Guard, and selected members of Boy
Scout Troop 312 of Waterloo, Iowa. The same attitude prevailed on national news
shows from morning until night. The revelation that they could have lost their
president was almost too much to bear. Which leads us to wonder if their
reaction would have been so swift and violent if The President or President Bush
had been in the White House when the Cessna fell.

In the end, it just turned out to be a depressed kook who thought it might be
fun to crash a plane into the White House. No matter what person of questionable
character currently resides in the mansion, it is a living piece of our history.
Any attack on that house is an attack on our nation. Besides, Mrs. The President
did a great job renovating it during The President's administration, and we
would not want to see her work go to waste. It's scary to think how Bill would
redecorate if it were damaged. He would probably install drive-through windows
and replace the presidential portraits with black velvet Elvis paintings.
Thankyouverymuch.


Quote of the weak:
"You ought to stick with the direction in which we are going."
Bill Clinton, in a lame attempt to emulate The President's "Stay the course"
slogan


Quote of the strong:
"Let's give the '50s their due. Even though Father didn't always know best, at
least he was there."
Dan Quayle


Words to Live By is published every week at about this time by Spiff.
You can send a fax to us here in the Spiff Executive Plaza, towering over
beautiful downtown Donelson, Tennessee at 615-883-0435.