Words to Live By Since 1993 A SPIFF Publication Vol. 2, No. 13 You can always tell a liberal, but not much. Lord Have Mercy! On Wednesday of last week, Spiff reporters attended the ground-breaking of the new Mercy Ministries of America offices and home for pregnant girls. Eleven years ago, Mercy Ministries began its task of creating a home for girls and young women who had made a mistake or been careless and gotten pregnant. While the first (and for some the only) choice pushed by groups such as NOW (National Organization of Wopersons) is to have an abortion and be done with it, Mercy Ministries not only encourages the girl to have the child, but teaches the skills necessary to raise the child. If the girl chooses not to keep the child, Mercy Ministries aids in the adoption process. This group proves what can happen when government stays out of the picture. They do not just point out the problem and, like government politicians, wring their hands in anguish. They decided to work toward solving the problem. For too long the liberal feminist position of abortion first has been the one that the media chooses to celebrate, while groups like Mercy Ministries quietly go about the business of saving lives_funded totally with private funds. Anyone attending the ground-breaking would have seen many liberal myths shattered. Many libs when ridiculing the adoption alternative say, "Yeah, but would a white couple adopt a black baby? Hmmm?" The answer is yes, several times over. One couple had adopted babies of Korean, Guatemalan, and Vietnamese decent. The liberal argument just does not hold up. But, this is not about the libs. It's about the incredible work that Mercy Ministries and its founder, Nancy Alcorn are doing. Her organization already has facilities in other parts of the country. This new home will have 50 beds for girls who need help and the services they will need once they have their babies. These people represent the best in all of us. They have put their money where their mouths are, and by doing so they will give many children the chance that they may never have had before. Spiff was proud to be at the ground-breaking and expresses our gratitude to Mercy Ministries for allowing us to be there. Hooray for Hollyw... uh, Never Mind A few thoughts on last week's Oscars... Hollywood gathered once again to pat themselves on the back and convince themselves once again how superior they are to us little people. Of course, the anti-Republican jokes flew and the same old tired liberal causes were pushed for the three-plus hours that the Academy Awards droned on. Tom Hanks, in accepting his award for best actor, gave a beautiful speech directed at you intolerant bigots and made an impassioned plea for next year's best actor award or launched his 1996 presidential bid. We couldn't really tell which. As usual, we at Spiff were on the lookout for those little moments that prove our points about libs. Once again, we found one. If you follow popular culture, you know of the downhill slide in the morals and behavior of the Hollywood elites. The only path to stardom now is to make your foul mouth louder, more foul, and more liberal than the next celebrity. This is the phenomenon that gives us Whoopi Goldberg and others of her ilk. When asked why actresses of today don't conduct themselves with more dignity than they did in Hollywood's heyday, the standard answer is "well, they were just as bad as we are but they were under the control of the studio and couldn't act up publicly." Lies! And we can prove it. In the middle of the liberal fest last week, a special award was given to Debra Kerr. Miss Kerr starred in movies such as "The King and I" and "From Here to Eternity." Now in her eighties, Miss Kerr accepted her award with a simple, eloquent and moving speech that most of all had class. Class is the greatest thing missing in today's culture. When you hear today's actresses say that the stars of yesterday were just as bad, think about the names. Grace Kelly, Bette Davis, Audrey Hepburn, Nancy Davis, Vivian Leigh. They were stars and they acted like it. They knew their job was more than standing in front of a camera, because they knew that their actions influenced millions. These differences in attitude represent what made us great and what tears us down. We need to keep what made us great. We need the kind of standard the old stars held. We will not see their like again. It's Still a Little Blurry Leader: "Good morning everybody. Thank you for coming to the White House for our little focus group meeting this morning. The purpose of our meeting is to help President Clinton focus on the issues that you as comra... er, Americans believe are important. Yes, sir, do you have a question?" Man: "Has he considered glasses? I'm an optometrist, and in my experience I've found that glasses can help people focus." Leader: "An optometrist?!? That's almost a doctor! Get out of here! How dare you show your face after you've made a fortune of the health care woes of others! Ok, where were we? Oh, yes. Our country is in the middle of several crises: health care, guns, Rush Limbaugh, the environment, etc. What is the one crisis that frightens you most?" Woman: "Bill Clinton." Leader: "No, I'm afraid you misunderstood the question. I'm looking for what really scares you." Man: "Hillary Clinton." Leader: "Let me rephrase that. If you were president, what is the first thing you would do?" Man: "Fumigate." Woman: "Put a double bed back in the presidential bedroom." Woman: "Apologize for the previous administration." Man: "Get rid of that stupid jogging track." Woman: "Go to Disney World." Leader: "Thank you, Miss Kerrigan. Maybe we should go on to the next part. We're looking for a new slogan for the Clinton health care plan. First, who of you supports the president's plan? Anyone... anyone... Bueller... Bueller... Yes, sir, you support the plan?" Man: "No, I just wanted to know why Mr. Clinton ignores the Republican plans." Leader: "Come on, people! The president has spent countless hours sending people around the country and to talk shows shoving this idea down... er, explaining the plan! Well, our time is about up. Are there any more questions? Spiff: "Whose tax dollars are paying for all this nonsense?" Quote of the weak: "Congress should stop worrying about Whitewater and get back to the business of looking after us." Jan Poole Quote of the strong: "What Bill said was, 'By the standards of Arkansas, we were very honest compared to Richard Nixon.'" P.J. O'Rourke Words to Live By is published every week at about this time by Spiff. You can send a fax to us here in the Spiff Executive Plaza, towering over beautiful downtown Donelson, Tennessee at 615-883-0435.