Words to Live By Since 1993 A SPIFF Publication Vol. 2, No. 6 Happy 83rd birthday, President Reagan! $$$$$ Kudos and congratulations to the new Tennessee Democrat Party Chairwoperson Jane Eskind. The libs have definitely found a chairwoperson who understands the lives of average Tennessee voters who got rich with their own medical companies. Actually, we are quite relieved that "Daffuhzit" Jim, Gov. Ned Ray, and Sen. Harlan (I am not a political crony) Mathews forced Mrs. Eskind's candidacy down the Democrat Executive Committee's throat. It's good to see Mrs. Eskind finally get something for her money. For years, Mrs. Eskind has pumped millions of dollars into lib campaigns, hoping to eventually get something in return. But, for some reason, the return on her investment never came. She was beaten by Your Congressman Bob Clement (Yes, believe it or not, she actually lost to Bob Clement.) for the Fifth District Congressional seat, and each time her name was floated for an office, it was almost immediately shot down. But, Mrs. Eskind trudged bravely on, throwing money to each and every lib that crossed her path. Now her reward is finally here. She will need some of that bravery in this election year. She has a difficult act to follow. Former Democrat Chairman Bob Thomas always put the best face on the disasters his party has wrought. Bob provided us with such quotable gems as, "The appointment of a special counsel proves that the Clinton administration is committed to openness and honesty." We hope Mrs. Eskind will follow in this grand tradition. Mrs. Eskind will need all of her political know-how to put a positive spin on Clinton, Sasser, and an attempt to sell Phil Bredesen in Sevier County. (All the raccoons in the state will not save Phil in East Tennessee.) Spiff congratulates Mrs. Eskind for her perseverance and deep purse. The lesson here is that there is no limit to what your money can buy. It Was a Slick Speech In our last episode, Bill was standing in front of Owl Gore and Tom Folly. Once again, here are some excerpts from the State of the Union address, with comments from Spiff where appropriate. Once again, the buck stops here. Notice that Bill said this in the Capitol. Once we reduced the deficit, and put the steel back in our competitive edge, the world echoed with the sound of falling trade barriers. This makes no sense, even for Bill. In one year, with NAFTA, GATT, our efforts in Asia, and the National Export strategy, we did more to open world markets to American products than at any time over the last two generations. This one knocked the Clinton Lie-O-Meter off the scale. Where does this boob get off taking credit for GATT, when Ronald Reagan, The President, started the GATT talks eight years ago? All Bill had to do with NAFTA was pay off a few liberals with pork projects (Do the words "London Route" ring a bell?) to get their votes. It was The President's idea and George Bush did the legwork. I call on Congress this year to pass legislation to establish the information superhighway. We call on Congress this year to butt out. This is too important for Washington. ...Experiment with ...public school choice. We will let you choose your children's school. You may choose between our government-run schools and our government-run schools. ...so long as we measure every school by one high standard: Arkansas. This spring, I will send you comprehensive welfare reform legislation He said that last year, too. Tell it to the 58 million Americans who have no coverage at all for some time each year that there is no health care crisis. Wait a minute. Wasn't it 37 million last time? Good grief, people, stop multiplying! In the words of Ross Perot, "We ain't rabbits." The [health care] system is riddled with inefficiency, abuse and fraud. And government is going to make it more efficient, with less abuse, and less fraud? Click your heels three times.... But nothing is more important to our security than our nation's armed forces. We honor their contributions, including those who are carrying out the longest humanitarian airlift in history in Bosnia, those who will complete their mission in Somalia this year, and their brave comrades who gave their lives there. We honor them by destroying their morale. The lives lost in Somalia were needlessly lost because of Les Aspin's bumbling and Bill's desire to look good marching across the White House lawn and declaring the mission complete. Democracies do not attack each other And Bill does not study history. And as we build a more constructive relationship with China, we will insist on clear signs of improvement in that nation's human rights record. Haven't we heard this before? Kind of reminds you of our Haiti policy, doesn't it? Those who commit crimes must be punished, and those who commit repeated violent crimes must be told: Commit a third violent crime and you'll be put away, and put away for good. Three strikes and you're out. That probably sounds great to the third victim. Fourth, we must remember that drugs are a factor in an enormous percentage of crimes. Recent studies indicate that drug use is on the rise again among young people. So, we went out and found a Surgeon General who wants to legalize drugs and make safer guns and safer bullets. Let's be honest. Change! Our problems go way beyond the reach of any government program. They are rooted in the loss of values, the disappearance of work, and the breakdown of our families and our communities. Welcome to the party, Bill. Some of us have been saying this for years. Remember that nasty, hateful, mean, and intolerant Republican Convention in 1992? Perhaps you should replace an Owl with a Quayle. We cannot renew our country when children are having children and the fathers of those children are walking away from them as if they don't amount to anything. So Bill's answer is to unleash Donna Shalala, Joycelyn Elders, and their condom parade on unsuspecting teenagers. We cannot renew our country until we all realize that governments don't raise children, parents do And we've got to do something to stop this! My fellow Americans, what is the State of the Union? With President Clinton and Bill's lies ravaging the land, it ain't pretty! Put Your Stock in Jane Fonda Movies Well, it took a couple of decades, but Viet Nam is getting its payoff from President Clinton and Bill. It was Viet Nam that set Bill Clinton's feet upon the political path and shaped his views on government and economics. It is only fitting that this is the administration that would lift our long-standing trade embargo against that still-communist country. Are we sure that they have cooperated with the release of information regarding the missing soldiers from that war? No. Are we sure that they are ready to join the family of free nations? No. Do we have an idiot deciding our foreign policy? Yes. As we have pointed out so many times, (and will many more) this administration is totally lost, especially in the Asian-Pacific area. Notice that we waited until Commerce Secretary Ron Brown was "cleared" of accepting a bribe from the Vietnamese government (instilling us with much confidence in the Whitewatergate investigation) before we moved to lift the embargo on Bill's favorite country. This follows the administration's repeated vacillating on the North Korea situation. Actually the North Korea situation is a crisis, but we here at Spiff have come to ignore that overused word. We still don't know the status of planned military exercises with South Korea. We do know that the commander of our forces in the area has requested the placement of Patriot Missiles to defend South Korean cities. They still have not been sent. South Korea won't get much of Bill's support. He wasn't old enough to undermine American policy in that war. Quote of the weak: "I don't think we want to discuss that in public view" Donna Shalala, on CCCP negotiations Quote of the strong: "It is much harder to do something right than to get a bunch of people together to do something wrong" Rush Limbaugh Words to Live By is published every week at about this time by Spiff. You can send a fax to us here in the Spiff Executive Plaza, towering over beautiful downtown Donelson, Tennessee at 615-883-0435.