Words to Live By Since 1993 A SPIFF Publication Vol. 1, No. 17 She must have inhaled! You Reefer What You Sow No, that inhaling you heard from Washington last week was not Bill's Oxford class reunion. It was the collective gasp at the latest dunderheaded idea by our nation's second leading health advocate, Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders. As it has so many times in the past year, the question begs: Are these people for real? You see, this is what happens when a liberal social activist president and her husband appoint these boobs, who haven't had a life outside of government, to positions of influence. We are forced to hide in fear of the next goofy liberal experiment to come down the pike. Dr. Elders believes that our nation's crime rate will drop if we only get rid of toy guns and lighten up on those helpless little drug addicts who rob and kill us to get the money for their next crack hit. Maybe Dr. Elders would like to give our children toy drugs or maybe even toy condoms. But in the spirit of cooperation, we will improve Dr. Elders' idea with some theories of our own. In the interest of helping you more easily obtain your drugs, we have come up with a few brand names. For our advertising campaign we must conduct a focus group. Please tell us which brand names appeal most to you. ù Coke-a-Cocaine, recommended by Jose Valdez, Juan's brother ù Snap Crack-le Pot ù Opium (the drug, not the perfume) ù Crack-er Jacks ù Speed Queens, for the new members of our military services ù LSD (Low-Sodium Drugs) for today's healthy addict ù Super Hero-in, guaranteed to make you fly Until Dr. Elders gets her (and Bill's) way, and every joiiint is a plaaaned, wanted joiiint, Spiff will continue to contend that the best drug policy is to make it awfully hard to get the drugs. It is foolish to think that we are ever going to totally eradicate this scourge. As long as the people are weak enough to want the drug, they will be strong enough to get it. Education is fine, and local police have spent millions in government money but remain badly outgunned by the drug runners. It seems to Spiff, if you have the single most powerful navy in the world, doesn't it make sense to park a battle group or two in the Gulf of Mexico and dare any suspicious ship to attempt to slip into American waters without being searched or blown out of the water. If you cut the supply, the drugs will be priced out of the market. Yes, we know. It is common sense. But look who President Clinton and Bill chose to be Surgeon General, and find any common sense in Washington. Lucy, you got some 'splainin' to do! Recently, the Spiff editorial board was forced to defend our position to a reader who was uncomfortable with the article discussing the crisis mentality in Washington. The reader was uncomfortable with our opinion of the moral crisis and used the same tired argument that Spiff is forcing our view of morality on our readers. This is an issue that demands more thought and discussion. We have, in the latter half of this century, witnessed a stunning collapse of the basic moral values that define us as a civil people. We seem to seek out ideas and views to hasten this collapse. We have deteriorated from Lucy being unable to use the word "pregnant" to NYPD Blue. Bill Bennett uses the example of surveys given to school teachers in the 1950s and the 1990s. In the '50s the major concerns of teachers were gum and talking in class; now they are guns and pregnancy. How did we get from gum to gun in such a short time? The answer can be partially found in the way we as a people respond to behavior that begins as unacceptable, but eventually becomes the norm. Each time the creative and social "elites" of our society push the envelope a little further, another strand of our moral fabric is lost. These people who do the pushing do so to cause a stir, create interest (and we provide them that interest) and pad their bank accounts. You can push the walls only so far. Eventually the roof falls in. Bill Clinton is, unfortunately, a result and a prime example of this incremental desensitizing. Clinton never would have got through the primaries if the behavioral path had not been cleared for him by others. In 1987 when Ronald Reagan, The President, nominated Douglas Ginsburg to the Supreme Court, it was revealed that Ginsburg had smoked marijuana. The nation was horrified, and the nomination was withdrawn. In 1992 Bill Clinton lied, saying he did not inhale, and it was ignored. We had all seen it before. In 1988 it was discovered that Gary Hart had cheated on his wife. The nation was horrified, and Hart was never heard from again. In 1992 it was discovered that Bill Clinton had cheated on his wife. He lied, said it didn't happen, and it was ignored. We had all seen it before. We wonder if someone with so many public character flaws could have been elected in the past. We are never shocked twice. We grow used to seeing teenagers gun each other down in the street. We grow used to the way people treat each other. When television networks decide to show programs full of profanity and violence, we sigh, shake our heads, and go on. The moral fight seems to have gone out of our people, not because we are not able, but because we no longer care...or think we should. When we have seen it once, it is never as shocking again. Is this a lament of the way things used to be? Yes. A prediction of disaster? If we do nothing, yes. Is it possible to repair the damage? You bet! Because we are better than this. All it takes is an appreciation of what is right and wrong. We know how we should conduct ourselves. It is time we did it. Quote of the weak: "A lot of people have long acknowleged that the so-called scoring rules used by the CBO don't reflect reality." Owl Gore, on the CBO revising his "reinventing government" numbers from $9 billion to $305 million Quote of the weaker: "...I will point out that [the CBO] is normally more conservative on what was going to happen, and closer to right than previous presidents." Bill Clinton Words to Live By is published every week at about this time by Spiff. You can send a fax to us here in the Spiff Executive Plaza, towering over beautiful downtown Donelson, Tennessee at 615-883-0435.