Words to Live By Since 1993 A SPIFF Publication Vol. 1, No. 9 Psalm 109:8 The Man with a Plan It has been a rough month. First, Bill introduced the Clinton Comprehensive Care Plan (CCCP) and the magic Health Scare Card (see accompanying article). Then, Sen. Bob Dole signed on with the Republican (We like socialized medicine too, because it's popular in the polls.) "alternative." Yes, these have been dark days indeed. Fear not, O disciples of Spiff, for a man has stepped forward with a real plan, a true plan, and (thank Heaven) a plan that does not rely on government bureaucrats! On October 11, Spiff sent one of its top reporters to an open forum on health care to discuss a proposal by Sen. Phil Gramm of Texas. Sen. Gramm told the overflow crowd, quite accurately, that 85% of Americans are currently insured and should be left alone. (Are you listening, President Clinton?) There is no reason why, except in the socialistic fantasies of this administration, those who have insurance and are happy with it should be herded into a system where they will get less for more. In discussing the other 15%, Sen. Gramm's plan would allow for the transfer of insurance between jobs, and make it illegal for insurance companies to cancel policies for those who fall ill. It will also require insurance companies to accept people with preexisting conditions. By making insurance portable and permanent, we can insure 85% of those currently not covered, making almost 98% of all Americans insured. The remaining 2% will receive help through vouchers and tax credits. The Gramm plan works to reform the existing system without chasing us all into socialized, one-size-fits-none medicine. Another vital part of the Gramm plan is malpractice reform (a provision found nowhere in the CCCP). This plan takes a strong stand on the sometimes frivolous lawsuits that our doctors face every day. Strange how the plan of President Clinton (a lawyer) and Bill (a not-as-good lawyer) makes no mention of real tort reform. Although his plan is not perfect, Spiff thanks Senator Gramm for giving us a plan we can live with. As he said, "There is a big discussion in Washington over what to call the Clinton plan. Well, when you have the government as the only buyer of insurance and then doling it out to the people, that's socialism." If you would like an outline copy of the plan, fax us here at the Spiff executive plaza, towering over beautiful Donelson, Tenn. at 615-883-0435. Health Scare Card Introduced President Clinton and Bill released two prototype cards for the Clinton Comprehensive Care Plan (CCCP) this week. Each American (American is defined as anyone who is physically in America.) will have a choice of two cards. Since Bill is pro-choice, he must have figured that we had to have a choice somewhere in this mess. The first card, the green "American Distress" card features a portrait of Bill (about 12 lies ago) as he would have looked if he had any military experience whatsoever. WTLB will show you the second card later. Draining the Poole As promised (See, we keep ours.), whenever we here at Spiff hear a medialib making even less sense than usual (and that's pretty bad), we feel the need to correct them on their dubious facts. If you listen to our good friend Jan Poole on WLAC, you know that it is a daily struggle for her to find reality. Among some of the more amazing things Jan has told us: ù This is the first administration to seriously address the daffuhzit. (Does Jan remember 1990? Gramm-Rudman-Hollings? Anything?) ù This is the first administration to attempt to streamline government. (Two words: Grace Commission. The President managed to implement 800 of the commission's 2,478 recommendations, as many as Owl Gore has even proposed.) ù President Clinton and Bill have achieved more in ten months than the previous two presidents did in their entire terms. (Yes, she really said this!) Let's just let the facts speak here. Hold on to your hat: The President and President Bush: ù tax reductions ù giant economic expansion ù cutting government operating expense growth from 14% to 1% per year ù putting down illegal PATCO strike ù restoring military strength ù Grace Commission ù eliminating 75 government printing offices ù bringing inflation under control ù cutting interest rates ù slashing needless government regulations ù INF treaty ù installing Pershing II missiles in Europe (which brought about the INF treaty) ù SDI ù reflagging Kuwaiti tankers ù putting down Philippine coup attempt ù bombing Libya ù Grenada ù START talks ù START treaty ù Berlin Wall ù Eastern Europe ù Alliance with Pope to free Poland ù Soviet Collapse ù Gulf War ù Panama ù finding truth about Soviet downing of KAL flight 007 ù resumption of Mideast peace process ù capturing Achille Lauro hijackers ù restructure of tax code ù keeping the Contras alive (If you look at democracy in Nicaragua, the policy worked.) ù elimination of tax "bracket creep" ù aid to the starving Somalis ù and, yes, the 1990 budget deal, etc., etc., etc. President Clinton and Bill: ù raising taxes ù homosexuals in the armed forces ù Clinton Comprehensive Care Plan (CCCP) ù REGO (snicker, snicker) ù Somalia goof ù Bosnia goof ù Haiti goof ù Zoe goof ù Kimba goof ù Waco goof ù Lani goof ù Travelgoof ù (every goof a planned, wanted goof) ù lies, lies, lies, lies, lies. Quote of the weak: "Many people in the previous two administrations have told me that our national security decisions are as good if not better than those of the last two administrations." Bill Quote of the strong: "Anyone who thinks that we can finance the Clinton plan with savings in Medicare has been smoking the same thing that Clinton didn't inhale or Jerry Brown didn't exhale." John McCain Words to Live By is published every week at about this time by Spiff. You can send a fax to us here in the Spiff Executive Plaza, towering over beautiful downtown Donelson, Tennessee at 615-883-0435.