Words to Live By Since 1993 A SPIFF Publication Vol. I, No. 3 I love dolphins...They taste like chicken. "Commander-in-chief Clinton"- Don't you feel safe! Last week, President Clinton and Bill ordered the elite Delta Force into Somalia to capture The Warlord. We applaud President Clinton and Bill for trying to capture The Warlord, as there has never been such a horrible threat to our nation's well being as The Warlord. In their first action the Delta Force carried out a daring raid on a U.N. office building. Fortunately, they were able to secure the building before the U.N. receptionist was able to retaliate. This, however, does point out a real and serious problem. If the administration of President Clinton and Bill has its way, more and more United States military forces will be placed under U.N. control during these "peace-keeping" missions. (By the way, how did we get from "Thank you, America." to "Yankee, go home." in a matter of six months in Somalia?) How safe do you feel with American forces under the control of Boutros Boutros (no relation to Sirhan Sirhan or Zsa Zsa), with the record of success that the U.N. has in Bosnia? Of course, our forces are currently under the control of a president with the only record on Bosnia worse than that of the U.N. It is past time to state our policy on Bosnia and to finally stick to it. A Reminder from the President Some seem to have forgotten what "Republican" stands for. They are buying, instead, into the lie that we were wrong for 12 years and should change our message to win elections. We here at Spiff have actually heard some members of the GOP claim that we should no longer be "ashamed of being Republicans." No kidding! Some of us never were. So, we here at Spiff decided to go to the source. As the saying goes...just a friendly reminder. "In the present crisis, government is not the solution to our problems; government is the problem. From time to time we've been tempted to believe that society has become too complex to be managed by self-rule, that government by an elite group is superior to government for, by, and of the people. Well, if no one among us is capable of governing himself, then who among us has the capacity to govern someone else? All of us together, in and out of government, must bear the burden. It is my intention to curb the size and influence of the federal establishment and to demand recognition of the distinction between the powers granted to the federal government and those reserved to the states or to the people. All of us need to be reminded that the federal government did not create the states. The states created the federal government. "Progress may be slow, measured in inches and feet, not miles, but we will progress. It is time to reawaken this industrial giant, to get government back within its means, and to lighten our punitive tax burden. These will be our first priorities, and on these principles there will be no compromise." Ronald W. Reagan, The President January 20, 1981 They must have had both halves tied behind their backs We are disgusted to have learned that the medialibs at channel 5 have pushed Rush Limbaugh, the Television Show (see Vol. 1, No. 2, principle #6) into the television tundra of 12:05 in the morning in order to give some stinking tabloid show higher ratings than Gilligan's Island. We urge our 20 million readers (No, wait, that's Rush's listening audience. Sorry.) to flood WTVF with calls, letters, faxes, (Yes, we know you have a fax machine.) and Snapple to protest this outrage. They Said What?! Guest editorial by Dan Talbot Hillary Clinton is a lawyer. Why does that qualify her to oversee a reformation of the Health Care System? Why don't we hear from prominent doctors whom she and Bill have appointed to head this effort? Because they haven't been appointed and their input is not desired! Appropriate analogies come to mind: ù a team of nurses takes over the operating room and tells the brain surgeon that his input will be welcome, but only in an "assist" role ù a lawyer takes over the dean's role at the University Medical School ù Hillary's committee concludes that doctors are not as qualified as lawyers to conduct brain surgery, or ù Marky-Mark conducts the Boston Symphony Orchestra. It has been observed by some that lawyers are part of the PROBLEM with the high cost of healthcare, due to excessive litigation. But these thoughts have obviously whistled in one of Bill or Hillary's ears and out the other, because the direction is to turn over critical decisions affecting our health care system to the government, which is staffed mostly by lawyers and bureaucrats. Make no mistake: improvements can be made. But why in our society is an unqualified individual appointed to drive these improvements? It is an illustration, I believe, of the "Know-Nothing Management" theories of some liberal business schools, and, alas, some corporate CEO's (and liberal politicians). Heaven forbid that a Thomas Edison should head a company making lightbulbs or a Henry Ford type should head a car company. What we need is more big-shots with misplaced confidence who graduated from a business school or law school, and who haven't paid their dues by producing anything. Again, we need Toscanini, and they're sending us Professor Harold Hill. To honor Vice President Owl Gore's upcoming redefinition of government efficiency, (that he's putting together with 73% more staffers than Vice President Quayle) we present today's Quote of the weak: "One of the most wonderful advantages to being able to live in this house is that the Navy owns it and the Navy provides Navy stewards to help maintain it, to cook meals, and to help clean. I mean, it's like heaven." Tipper Gore, on the vice presidential mansion Because brilliance and strength know no geopolitical boundaries, Spiff presents this week's Quote of the strong: "We in the Conservative Party know that you can't get anything for nothing. We hold to the firm foundation of principle grounded in common sense, common belief, and the common purpose of the British people. The common sense of a people who know that it takes effort to achieve success." Lady Margaret Thatcher Words to Live By is published every week at about this time by Spiff. You can send a fax to us here in the Spiff Executive Plaza, towering over beautiful downtown Donelson, Tennessee at 615-883-0435.