Words to Live By Since 1993 A SPIFF Publication Vol. I, No. I Every Publication a Planned, Wanted Publication SPIFF: What is it? For months we have endured them, with their lies, broken promises, kept promises, etc. This morning, from the SPIFF Executive Plaza towering above beautiful downtown Donelson, a new voice in the darkness rises to defend truth, justice, and the American way. We at SPIFF are determined to right the wrongs, expose the lies, and other neat stuff needed to restore conservative ideals to prominence in American society. We will not be intimidated; we will not be threatened; we will not be undersold in our pursuit of truth. Say it ain't so, Bob! Disappointment has overcome the offices of the SPIFF Executive Plaza towering over beautiful downtown Donelson, Tenn. Our political staff was gearing up to cover Bob Clement's valiant march toward the Governor's office when he pulled the rug out from under us by announcing his intent to seek another term as "Your Congressman, Bob Clement." We in Nashville regret missing the chance to share Bob Clement with the rest of Tennessee. Now we must continue to wallow in the greed typified by the failed economic policies of the last 12 years by keeping him all to ourselves. The rest of Tennessee will forever miss out on Bob Clement's ability to...well...uh...never mind. We respect Bob Clement's decision to pull out of the Governor's race even though he was sure he would win. We honor his courage in saving us from four years of his leadership. To completely list all of Bob Clement's achievements would take too long...to find any. As honorable mention we commend his courage to vote with his constituents and against the Clinton tax plan_when it was safe. As we turn our gubernatorial attention to the dozen or so Democrats left in the race we wonder: who are they? One thing is for sure_Mr. Democrat Nominee, you're no Bob Clement! We will continue selfishly hoarding Bob Clement to ourselves thanks to the absence of any Republicans man enough to run against him. The problem is not the lack of qualified candidates; it's the fear of incumbency. Today SPIFF announces our candidates for the Republican nomination for Fifth District representative: Jim Burnett, Nashville businessman Beth Clayton, Bush-Quayle '92 vice-chairman Robin Green, marketing executive Beth H. Harwell, state representative Avon Williams III, financial executive Wanted: Responsible, visible Republican wanted to run for Congress. Experience a plus. The ideal candidate will possess the ability to slash pork. Apply Fifth District of Tennessee. Quote of the weak: If you think I'm a demagogue you shouldn't have anything to do with me. It's that simple. H. Ross Perot