Since 1993 | A SPIFF Publication | Vol. 7, No. 2 |
The Miami Herald, home of Dave Barry and that's about all, announced
that President Bush (who was not President Bush at the time, but you
already knew that) won Florida by 140 votes. This is after counting
every little hanging, dimpled, pregnant, under-inflated, nacho-flavored,
and immaginary chad in four counties where Gore thought he could manufacture
more votes.
The Herald proclaimed, "If Secretary of State Katherine Harris had let South Florida counties
complete manual recounts before certifying the results of last
November's election, George W. Bush likely would have won the presidency
outright, without weeks of indecision and political warfare, a review of
Miami-Dade County's 'undervote' ballots shows."
Translation: "If the wicked witch of the South had just let the recount
continue [instead of obeying the law] the American people wouldn't have had to go
through the five weeks of the torture she made us endure."
So that must mean that if we had let the Miami Herald's auditors take 57
days to recount ballots that had already been counted at least twice and
find votes that had never been voted, we would have known the results by
early January instead of mid-December. Shame on you, Miss Harris!
In case you were thinking that this is all over, ha! What were you
thinking? In a story in which it says that analysis only "suggests vote
recount favored Bush," BNN reports, "A separate group of news
organizations, including [BNN], The New York Times and The Washington
Post, have joined forces to retain a nonprofit research firm to conduct
an inventory of Florida's uncounted presidential ballots."
Well, where do we start? By noting that the three above-mentioned "news"
organizations are the definition of the liberal media? By wondering why
those three multi-gazillion-dollar companies had to join forces to hire
a company that can't even make a buck? By pointing out that rich
socialists trust only nonprofit companies (except themselves)? By
showing that every one of the 180,000 "uncounted" presidential ballots
was counted at least twice, but didn't have a valid presidential vote?
By reminding ourselves that there actually were some uncounted ballots -
military ballots that were discarded by Florida Democrats? You tell
us.
Ronald Reagan, The President,
sends a message to Bill Clinton, who refuses to go away.